After the weekend with my parents and current events as well as a recent phone conversation, I have certainly gained in knowledge. For me, however, is now also clear that it's not going any further. My mother, she may often be good is quite simply nothing else than a kind of psychic vampire. This expression may seem strange, but true just the point. Mother only sees, her fears, problems and views on all sorts of topics. Place for me and my needs is not there. I am the center of their miserable life, but I did it, as a human being, no place. I have no word and no right to freedom of review. I sit in her little cage, the only place they approved me in its universe. I may not live like one, not now, not later, and in the past it was the canker. Would she read these words would come right back the accusations of a lack of respect or even I would not love them. But how can a man be honest and respect the love for you only have a better hand puppet is?
adult children are not destined forever to be the absolute focus of the parents, but it has nothing else and does not try at all until something else to do with their lives. I am annoyed that so many times. It is not yet 50 years old and vegetating in front of him there, waiting for grandchildren and I am with her. But I want to spare my children the sight. So cry Erlich, self-righteous and bitter as it is formally written their loneliness and emptiness in the face, that's not for children. And fortunately I have not. I suffered all these years, including enough.
all ailments and failures in dealing with children with me, everything that belonged to the lack of education tried both my father and my mother only with money or gifts to console away. To date, is the so operated. That also makes it a child is not easy to learn what appropriate means money, for which gifts are. To this day I feel that I almost always when I feel bad, I'm lonely or have experienced something negative, like a gift or money. I'm old enough to know that we can not. And yet I feel that the absence of such favors me angry and sad. This was called then, or at least well-education compensation of errors? At the same time it is so blackmailed but also in the family, using the slogan: "You get that, or this, now be quiet!" To date, they can
it wonderful to convince myself guilty. I visit too little. All the reasons that I call it, are you nothing of value. I should have enough money or could I borrow some. Intervention I've never sick and I'm much less. If you do not meet all of these but plausible, good reasons, I tell her the truth, the workhorse of my absence. I like to visit them, not now and not later. My father drinks, I can not stand that I may not stand at all, not because of me, and because of it. After all these years you can not watch this anymore. I have tried so many times to help and yet it has never brought anything. I tried to talk to him sympathetically. I tried hard and decisive. I took him off the liquor, was him his future. Nothing did anything. And talk to Mama brings just as much. It is inconsistent and complaining rather than to change something. You will not leave him but she can not or will force him to any form of therapy. She is the only one that has a pressure medium. Instead, it makes me accusations, wondering why I did not attend and why I'm against it have become so different.
Mama I'm not a kid anymore, now I can escape, now I have my way out, he may be a coward as he wants, it's my way. I protect my mind, those whom you have destroyed years ago almost. Why do you think I am as I am? I am your daughter, but I do not belong to you! Why were you always have the perfect aunt for my friends, and even for my half sister, they all wanted you as a mother, but they do not know what it is. Your problem, your illness, your addiction have made you immature of your life. You see yourself in the dependence on this man, not because you're sick, no, simply because you never learned to stand up for themselves, to fight and deny your life. You declare the money, you would be missing. But is it really the money? A bit masochistic you're well, you will need the misery he often brings, you need it to yourself to increase your own misery. You love to wallow in it up there and others to move into it. Into your abyss. There, I will not go there. Never again.
You gave me birth, not for my sake, no, simply because it fills your loneliness and emptiness. You bore me so you have someone who never leaves you, love you always. These people you had, children love their parents unconditionally. But what if these kids know what they are there. What is done with them and why they play this important role. And above all, they are denied any responsibility in it.
I decide for myself what I think is right and good. I have no one like, respect and love or need to. The days are long gone. I am I, an independent thinking and feeling being. With our own opinion and their own life. This approach seems to me not solve your problems forever before having to, not these insoluble, indefinable things that you'd like this you can not solve. You strike me as any objection or constructive way to help and asking but I'm constantly there for you. It thus yields no sense and deprives me so mad the strength that I am hardly in a position to say anything to it.
For me at this point is final. No more visits alone without my husband and without a car. Whenever you start to whine or he begins to drink, we drive. Clear rules to which one can talk. And I never cry again!
is too personal, yet it can and I will not keep these lines for me. I have friends who are simply not there for me and listen to what I have to say. And everything always makes sick to swallow.
At this point, thanks for recent heart problems, Mama.
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