Yesterday was another one of those day to the next one could have done without. Yesterday and today. Yesterday we were invited by a friend to a rent party, we were there. During the week, so what is always rather silly. But it was quite nice, although there were some pretty Nerds. Just kind of is I realize so many times that I not belong. I could say so much about my thoughts that I had so the whole evening, but I do not think that it makes things easier.
As always, once a month, I'm a little in heat, but let's explain that a man of the continuing need to embrace other has. Maybe I should capitalize on the forehead: "Hands prohibited if you just want to cuddle!" But that's not well and could be easily misunderstood, especially since I'm married and one or the other well may seem a bit strange. But is not monogamous really mine. I think it's just as scary how I feel then, what is going on inside me, this unquenched thirst for a new experience or the same. I have no idea, do not know how I could put it in words without realizing that that sounds bad or otherwise. Why do something that feels so right, manifestly be so wrong. Or perhaps it is not wrong? Perhaps it makes even the appearance because it seems impossible?
The dreams are what remains. Something.
I write so much confuse things, so much useless stuff. I understand myself any more and I kind of like me no longer.
Maybe I should really just do something crazy again, something completely wacky ... Or simply have sex with a stranger or not such a strange one. Perhaps extreme sports or whatever. Of course I could also just be honest and say what is going on inside me. Make necessary or just where is after me. But all these are just ideas, theories and dreams. Thoughts on the way to the scrap bin.
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